On my little old way.

I'm Fleur, 22, London-based theatre-goer, guitar-scratcher, tv-watcher. Recovering from depression and an eating disorder. Striving towards a mainly plant-based intake. Let's talk!



things life is too short for:
- hating yourself
- pretending to laugh at “jokes” that are actually just bigoted statements
- not singing along to your favorite songs
- waiting hours to text someone back just to look cool
- bad coffee
- bad books
- mean people
- body shaming
- letting other people dictate your life
- larry’s storyline

(via cleanbodyfreshstart)

pre-class bathroom selfie 2.0

as one of the 60,000 followers, i request more naked people in the future (or now)

A question by Anonymous


imageyou’ll get people in the nuddy when I feel like drawing them, dear


Went to the dietician yesterday. I gained a lot of weight in the passed week, and I am now, ~officially~ at my target weight. Not at the range she was “allowing” me for a little while. But the weight michigan wanted me at, the weight my next 2 partial teams wanted me at, where my growth charts indicate, my pre-ED weight, etc.

I started sobbing in her office, and cried and panicked for probably an hour after (poor Eileen was so nice omg). This weight just has so much behind it for me. It signifies everything I’m scared of: It’s normal. More than that, it’s the weight I was at while I was well.

It is what the old Sarah weighed— the Sarah I hated so much I did absolutely everything I could to destroy her.

I spent the rest of the day pretty upset. And I’m going to resist the urge to end this post with “but I’ve accepted it and it’s okay now!”

Because that’s not true.

So here’s the truth: I hate it. I hate that I’m going up to my cottage at this weight next week. I want desperately to lose as much as I can before we leave.

But I’m not going to. I’m going to hold on.

Because I can’t be the girls I saw in a support group the other day. I’ve been them for too long— collapsed into myself, helpless, no self-efficacy to be found. Eating disorders don’t make you interesting or special. They make you ineffectual and stagnant.

I may have hated the old Sarah, the Sarah I tried to destroy. But I certainly don’t want to be the Sarah who knows nothing but her eating disorder and treatment centers and never grew as anything but ‘patient.’

I can build who I want to be. But losing weight was never a part of it.

Sarah you’re wonderful and being a ‘normal’ weight doesn’t make you normal or average or any less than the unique, exceptional human being you are. *hugs*


Can you imagine the conversation though?

Queen: I’m going

Chief of Staff: But, Your Majesty, the security risks…

Queen: I’m going I want cake 

Chief of Staff:


Chief of Staff: 

Queen: I want cake

(via you-are-worth-recovery)

What is 50 shades of grey about? And what's so bad about it?

A question by Anonymous




50 Shades of Grey was originally fanfiction based on the Twilight series, which was then published as a novel (along with 2 subsequent books). It sold over 100 million copies around the world and topped best-seller lists everywhere. It’s about to be adapted into a film, set to come out early next year.

It follows a college student named Ana Steele, who enters a relationship with a man named Christian Grey and is then introduced to a bastardised and abusive parody of BDSM culture.

While the book is paraded as erotica, the relationship between Ana and Christian is far from healthy. The core mantra of the BDSM community is “safe, sane and consensual”, and 50 Shades is anything but. None of the rules of BDSM practices (which are put in place to protect those involved) are actually upheld. Christian is controlling, manipulative, abusive, takes complete advantage of Ana, ignores safe-words, ignores consent, keeps her uneducated about the sexual practices they’re taking part in, and a multitude of other terrible things. Their relationship is completely sickening and unhealthy.

Basically, “the book is a glaring glamorisation of violence against women,” as Amy Bonomi so perfectly put it. 

It’s terrible enough that a book like this has been absorbed by people worldwide. Now, we have a film that is expected to be a huge box-office success, and will likely convince countless more young women that it’s okay not to have any autonomy in a relationship, that a man is allowed to control them entirely. It will also show many young men that women are theirs to play with and dominate, thus contributing to antiquated patriarchal values and rape culture.


Boycott this fucking movie, for the love of god. These kinds of ideas are dangerous and set us back as a society